You know the Americans Abroad move, where they merely repeat an English phrase louder and slower to non-comprehending natives? I don’t do that. You’ll also never see me standing around tapping a Hello Kitty iPhone while a malnourished kid loads 10 pieces of Louis Vuitton in the trunk. I do not call people foreigners…especially in their own country*. But I’ve observed such disgraces so many times it makes me want to tattoo a Canadian maple leaf on my forehead.
No, my Ugly Americanism is more subtle, like never really learning Spanish and French even though that would enrich my travel experiences by an order of magnitude. Or feeling impatient in restaurants. Or tipping the hotel manager to turn on my AC, even though I know that involves their cranking up the generator (ugh). Also, I’m a big guy and usually tower over the denizens of every country I visit. I can’t hide the fact that I am very white and very American.
Nevertheless, my liberal guilt is always right there, so I try and make up for it. Just this morning, I brought my laptop down so that I
could have a decent conversation with the guy who’s been bending over backwards to help me this week (I can understand French, but cannot speak it without embarrassing myself). We watched Manchester United and Arsenal play futbol this morning and I feigned excitement and–hooray for me–never said that American football was the far superior sport.
*This actually happened in Germany where a cigar-chomping American (no lie) called a German bus driver a “goddamn foreigner.” My buddy wanted to whip his ass, and so did I.
liveoakblues
Live Oak Blues 
Posted by NJ Gator on May 2, 2011 at 4:31 pm
I certainly understand the impulse of white liberal guilt and the very real reasons behind it. How could you not be awash in it in Haiti right now? However, I’ve noticed that the only ones who feel that guilt are the ones the least needing to feel guilty? You are there doing humanitarian work, trying to connect with people you have little in common with other than basic humanity. You are doing this because you are a good person with good impulses. I said good, not perfect. I think it’s okay to give yourself a pass on lacking perfection. That’s what *everyone* shares in common in the first place.
Posted by liveoakblues on May 2, 2011 at 4:34 pm
Thanks man. I meant, it’s hard to see the disparity and find myself on the plus side.